Parental control…. The never ending problem of a large portion of students. Many of the students including myself and my friends dread how their parents involve themselves and control their lives. The nagging, questioning, complaining, ordering, picking, etc. The list goes on endlessly. Parents involve and surround themselves in the lives of their children and feel they need to control it. Forewarning, I will write this blog in my point of view. I will knowledge vomit all of my thoughts about this certain topic onto this blog. I can rant about this topic all day. I will try my best to understand the other point of view and reflect upon it but here’s what I think:
First off, why? Let’s take a moment to understand the parent’s side of this and why they would do such thing? Well in my mind I know that they mean well and that they just want their children to be successful (more often successful doctors to be specific). In order to ensure that success, their natural act is to surround themselves in their children’s life.
In the process of imposing themselves into their children’s lives they often leave their input on things. Parents will “leave a comment” on basically anything. They will also require the knowledge of EVERYTHING as well. School, grades, friends, friend’s grades, lunch, tests, EVERYTHING. They’ll have the whole nine yards down to a science. Not only will they know all of it, they will nag and complain about it. They will lecture on and on saying the same thing and dragging it out for days. They will yell making themselves think that yelling makes them more correct. After so many years you can only take so much. It’s SO SO annoying. It’s the most horrendous thing ever. I get stress over making sure everything is good so my parents don’t annoy me over any little thing they notice is wrong. And any remark I make trying to explain to my parents whatever I think they are being unfair with, it leads to, “Don’t talk back.” Then it’s end of the story. They always end up being right.. I get that they want to help, but there is really no need for there to be constant yelling and nagging. Saying it nicely with positive reinforcement is ALSO a good way to approach it.
Not only do they feel the need to complain and nag about things, they like to force their own ideas to their children. They continuously encourage their children to go towards their own ideas and vision. “Go to the best college…” “Be a doctor…” Parents come up with their own vision of what THEY want, not what’s necessarily best for their child. They don’t understand that what they want is not always what their children want or is interested in. Parents need to learn to let go sometimes. They need to let their kids learn their own life lessons, have their own experiences, and figure out their own future for themselves.
Lastly, parents like to restrict their kids of “fun.” I understand that going out every night would be way to much. But, nevertheless, parents should still let their kids have fun to an extent. I feel parents hold their kids at home and tell them to study to much. Sure high school is important but there has to be room for some fun and stress free times. It can’t be 24/7 studying. While I’m at it I’ll quickly discuss my thoughts on how parents want their kids to be doctors because it connects. Being a doctor is great. You become very smart, you help people, plus the money isn’t half bad at all. But, if a student doesn’t want to pursue the medical field, parents definitely shouldn’t urge it. Becoming a doctor takes ALOT of work. Many many years of studying and learning. By the time you’re a doctor running your own office, you’re forty or older. Often times you’ve invested so much time into studying and being busy making a living, you forget to make a life. At the end of the day, that’s what’s more important. You can make all the money you want but if you aren’t happy and having fun with life then what’s the point. That gets me back to high school academics. Parents should let their kids go out every now and then. Ensure time for studying but allow time for relaxing and having fun.
I feel that an ideal parent would be a nice, supporting parent. The kind that gives supportive advice instead of yelling and nagging what to do. The kind that shows the right direction rather than forcing a certain path. One that will let their kid discover themselves but be their to pick them up if they’re down. One that understands the importance of both academic and social life. Parents need to learn the balance of certain things in order to be a good parent and have good parenting skills. Not everything has to be perfect with an A+.
Also, students shouldn’t always listen to their parents if they really feel their parents are wrong. If they have a gut instinct towards a direction they want to go, they should kindly let their parents know and go their own path..
I realize not all parents are like this. At least this is how my parents are but, I know for a fact that many students can still relate to this blog in some aspect. In conclusion, even though parents can be very annoying, they want the best for their kids. Plus, even if they are getting on your nerve, you can always talk it out with your parent if you feel they are being unreasonable. Find a way to have a healthy parent-child relationship.